On Listening!

One of the most valuable qualities we can leave with our children is that they have confidence in their own ability to think things though, make decisions to lead them in positive directions, and to act on their decisions.  Charles H. Mayo along with his brother, William J. Mayo, created a medical center near my birthplace – the Mayo Clinic – that was the ‘mecca’ of medicine for years.  Presidents, celebrities, world leaders all visited Rochester, MN, to receive medical treatment at this world-renowned clinic!  I believe I’m alive today through the efforts of the doctors at Mayo!  And, Charles Mayo gave us this thought – a thought that will occupy our discussions for a couple of sessions: “The great contribution we can make is to prepare the oncoming generation to think that they can and will think for themselves.”

Let’s look at one way you can plant the seeds of confidence in your children – Listen to them!

The word ‘listen’ is often used but seldom examined to see its power.  In communication, many want to share (speak) still few are skilled at listening.  Listening means much more than ‘hearing’!  Listening suggests we are actively involved in what the child is sharing.  At any moment, if we are truly listening with our ears, with our eyes and with our hearts, we’ll be able to ask an intelligent question of the child to lead to more complete understanding or to reinforce what the child says by repeating the thought in other words.   In many textbooks this is called ‘Active Listening’!  Active listening focuses attention on the speaker – the child.  Active listening means putting our personal distractions aside, putting our own agenda aside and hearing only what the child is saying.

When you ‘actively listen’ to a child, the child internalizes feelings of importance – ‘What I’m saying is important!  Therefore, I must be important!’

Listening to your child will be much different from listening to the singing of birds and the chirping of cicadas – examples of hearing.  Listening to your child will place you into a very important interaction with your son or daughter – maybe even your spouse.  Can you give that a try?  Today??