It didn’t happen often, but I remember times when I was irritated when my children would say, “I’m bored.” And, this usually prompts a word from me or some other adult like: “Well, why don’t you go to your room and __________.” And, the blank contained some activity that the children could reject and just a short time after the rejection of our suggestion, the child says “I’m bored!” as if they have forgotten that we went through this just a moment ago!
So, I’m borrowing some thoughts that I think are worthwhile from Fred Smith, Jr. who has a column every now and again giving people like me sound advice. His suggestion for an adult response is “So, what are you going to do about it?” (Note the word ‘you’! Not what should “I” do, but what are ‘YOU’ going to do?) Fred tells us that the cure for boredom is our responsibility, not a job for others.
So, what can we do when our children try to dump this responsibility on us? 1) Make it very clear that you are NOT going to do anything to cure their boredom – that’s their responsibility! 2) When the child moves toward some activity that will fill this ‘boredom space’, offer to work with them, to share this new experience. And, as soon as you believe your child is ‘hooked’, withdraw – go about your own business! 3) Expose the child to something new and let that child make a decision about whether this is something he/she would like to do. and once again, from Fred: 4) Remember: the more bored the child is, the less energy that child has for getting started on some worthwhile activity. The less bored he/she is, the more energy they will have to begin a new activity!
The vacations are coming! The kids will miss school and a close association with many friends and some adults who really care for and direct them (They are called ‘teachers’), and they may come to you with this: “I’m so bored!” Be prepared for that! Teach them as soon as you know they’ll ‘get it’ that they are responsible for getting out of that state and into something they will enjoy and something which will help them to grow into self-directed adults!!
Good luck!!
January 5, 2011 at 7:34 am
“What are you going to do about it?” I like that!
At school when a student “tells on” another child, I often ask the two youngster to face one another. Then I say to the first student, “Tell him/her what you told me.”
Afterwards, I ask the second child to respond. She or he usually says, “I’m sorry.” Then I’ll ask, “And?” If the student knows me, she or he will say, “I won’t do that again.” The first child is usually satisfied by this exchange. I hope that both students will learn one way to settle disputes that doesn’t lead to the principal’s office.